April 16, 2024

Proving the old adage that winning the hearts and minds of Muslims worldwide is best accompanied by banana pudding, Magnolia Bakery celebrated the grand opening of an annex in Dubai today.

[All bow to the awesome power of Carrie Bradshaw.]

It’s the much-fetishized bakery’s first foray outside of NYC – let alone the USA.  And though it initially looked set to whip up a cupcake-crazed detente on a scale heretofore unimaginable (picture it:  Christians, Jews, and Muslims coming together over a shared love of red velvet and buttercream) there’s one significant difference in Dubai’s kitchen – nothing is kosher. According to a company spokesman, “due to cultural sensitivities, only the US bakeries are kosher.”

Sorry, Shlomo: no pastel-colored icebox cake for you.

And no world peace for the rest of us.

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